November 28, 2022

Don’t tell the FBI, but I have a pirated tape of Jurassic Park.

I must be six or seven years old and I put this grainy-looking, low-voice video on every day before school without fail. I could recite every line in a movie (at least the ones I could understand), and I would laugh at the electrified fence in a storm when I saw a man standing in front of a movie theater projector just before the iconic T-Rex that was shot down. He never knew what he was missing.

I love Jurassic Park. I have all the toys (I also have a rubber-skinned T-Rex figure), I have pajamas (I also have an old JP T-shirt), I have video games (I’m playing the Aftermath matchmaking game on Oculus Quest this week) . I still love Jurassic Park.

Jurassic Park’s iconic T-Rex breakout scene. (Image credit: Universal)

And, I’ve been waiting for lightning to strike twice. But after a series of increasingly bad sequels, on the cusp of Jurassic World: Domination, the sixth and (presumably) last entry into the series, I realized I was looking in the wrong place.

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